请选择 进入手机版 | 继续访问电脑版
设为首页收藏本站

一起SAT论坛

 找回密码
 立即注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

更多»
搜索
热搜: 活动 交友 discuz
查看: 2300|回复: 1

(评分3-3-3)作文 OG P822

[复制链接]

4

主题

4

帖子

1076

积分

付费学员

Rank: 3Rank: 3

积分
1076
发表于 2019-8-28 06:51:54 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
In the passage “Viewpoint: Air-Conditioning Will Be the End of Us”, the author Eric Linenberg persuade his audience that Americans need to greatly reduce their reliance on air-conditioning by presenting both apparent and potential negative effect to the audience. Eric effectively uses personal anecdotes, humorous word choice and appealing to pathos to persuade the audience we should reduce our reliance on air conditioning
Eric Linenberg uses personal experience, for example, the public- health programs he has long advocated by giving vulnerable people easy access to air-conditioning. He also stated that “he recognized that air conditioners can enhance productivity in offices and make factories safer for workers”. By sharing his personal anecdote, the audience knows that Eric understands the benefits of air conditioner which is more persuasive if he says air conditioners are harmful.  He then talks about the damage of air conditioning like energy consumption and climate change, which is more persuasive from an air conditioner user's point of view.
Eric also uses humorous word choice to further convince his audience. For example in the fourth paragraph, Eric compares offices, homes, and commercial outlets as igloos. Another example would be the arctic air pumped from the stores. These words choice efficiently compares the indoor temperature of these places to igloos, and the air pumping out as arctic air. Eric suggests that we are using too much air conditioning, which makes the audience nodded in laughs. However, we soon realized that what Eric has stated is indeed the problem we are facing. Moreover, Eric can better connect to the audience by telling us jokes that reflect the trouble.
Most importantly, Eric appeal to pathos indicating that using the air conditioner is ultimately make us even hotter. This makes the audience think is it really worth it to use the air conditioner for temporary comfort in the exchange of permanent damage to the environment. Eric also mentioned that not only Americans are overusing air conditioners but wherever American culture influenced, the use of air conditioners increases. The sales of air conditioners rose 20% in India and China last year. Therefore it is not only Americans problem but rather the whole world’s. By appealing to pathos, Eric also broadened his audience from Americans to everyone, stating that it is everyone’s duty to reduce the reliance on air conditioning and save the environment.
As author Eric Linenberg has stated, using air conditioners is a suicidal act. Eric persuades his audiences to reduce the reliance on air conditioning by using his personal anecdote, humourous word choice and appeal to pathos.



回复

使用道具 举报

176

主题

359

帖子

1万

积分

管理员

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

积分
12429
发表于 2019-8-28 16:51:34 | 显示全部楼层
In the passage “Viewpoint: Air-Conditioning Will Be the End of Us”, the author Eric Linenberg persuade(加s) his audience that Americans need to greatly reduce their reliance on air-conditioning by presenting both apparent and potential negative effect to the audience. Eric effectively uses personal anecdotes, humorous word choice and appealing to pathos to persuade the audience that we should reduce our reliance on air conditioning.

Eric Linenberg uses personal experience, for example,(of) the public- health programs he has long advocated by giving vulnerable people easy access to air-conditioning. He also stated that “he recognized that air conditioners can enhance productivity in offices and make factories safer for workers”. By sharing his personal anecdote, the audience knows that Eric understands the benefits of air conditioner which is more persuasive(balanced and fair) if he says air conditioners are harmful.  He then talks about the damage of air conditioning like energy consumption and climate change, which is more persuasive from an air conditioner user's point of view. 作者的个人经历主要是在首段,重要例子概括不到位,分析不到位,未提及个人经历拉近读者距离等。此段分析更像是reasoning的视角,,第二段从帮助弱势群体,以及第三段从改善工作环境的作用,过渡到第四段作者反对的是过多使用。。

Eric also uses humorous word choice to further convince his audience. For example in the fourth paragraph, Eric compares offices, homes, and commercial outlets as igloos. Another example would be the arctic air pumped from the stores. These words choice(word choices) efficiently compare the indoor temperature of these places to igloos, and the air pumping out as arctic air. Eric suggests that we are using too much air conditioning, which makes the audience nodded in laughs. However, we soon realized that what Eric has stated is indeed the problem we are facing. Moreover, Eric can better connect to the audience by telling us jokes that reflect the trouble. 此段二三两句直接概括为compare A to B即可,否则表意重复。分析不够深入,igloo和arctic本身也是irony,表明我们其实不需要太多的空调。措辞还包括第五段的frigid和steamy等。

Most importantly, Eric appeal(加s) to pathos indicating that using the air conditioner is(删去) ultimately make(加s) us even hotter. This makes the audience think is it really worth it(whether it is worthwhile) to use the excessive air conditioner for temporary comfort in the exchange of permanent damage to the environment. Eric also mentioned that not only Americans are overusing air conditioners but wherever American culture influenced, the use of air conditioners increases. The sales of air conditioners rose 20% in India and China last year. Therefore it is not only Americans problem but rather the whole world’s. By appealing to pathos, Eric also broadened his audience from Americans to everyone, stating that it is everyone’s duty to reduce the reliance on air conditioning and save the environment.

As author Eric Linenberg has stated, using too much(注意表意要准确) air conditioners is a suicidal act. Eric persuades his audiences to reduce the reliance on air conditioning by using his personal anecdote, humourous word choice and appeal to pathos.

阅读:3分;分析:3分;写作:3分


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册 一键登录: 更多»

本版积分规则

QQ|权利声明|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|一起SAT论坛 ( 闽ICP备16038975号  

GMT+8, 2021-4-11 12:58 , Processed in 0.119982 second(s), 28 queries .

Powered by Discuz! X3.2

© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表