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(评分3-2-3)Essay OG P470

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发表于 2018-7-14 08:30:21 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Essay pg 470

In the passage, “Beyond Vietnam - A Time to Break Silence” by Martin Luther King Jr, King makes an argument claiming that American involvement in the Vietnam War is unjust. Strategies that King employs to support his argument include reasoning, rhetorical, and appeals to emotion.

King supports his argument with reasons. He establishes himself as a person who wants to solve and tackle the issue of Vietnam for moral reasons. King reference the domestic effects of an international conflict, and he makes the situation really personal and relevant as well for US citizens. This connection makes people feel inspired to join King’s movement, since the the benefits of fighting against the war like reducing poverty is clearly mentioned by him. King also  describes how American involvement in Vietnam absorbed money from the program, and killed those programs was supposed to be helping - “demonic destructive suction tube”

King uses an unique rhetorical technique to simplify the argument of opposition. King utilizes a simile in order to convince his audience. For example, in the passage, he writes “American would never invest the necessary funds or energies in rehabilitation of the poor so long as adventures like Vietnam continued to draw men and skills and money like some demonic destructive suction tube”. This compares Vietnam to a demonic object, making the passage easier to understand, also a really distinctive comparison. King made it look simple by comparing it to a demonic test tube, something that no one would support.

King appeals to emotion and morality. He talks about urging people to go against something that has been effectively created to seem infallibly immoral. He mainly focuses on the implications of the Vietnam war for the poor, - “extraordinarily high proportions”, as he describes in the passage, he compares the conditions in Vietnam to the conditions in the US. He also describes how he has “walked among the desperate, rejected and angry young men”. Through his words and phrases, he evokes his empathy for soldiers who are fighting in the war. King also references how he had walked amongst the soldiers, this point makes himself appear to be more trustworthy and credible.     

Through his reasons, rhetorical, and appeals to emotions, King effectively creates a persuasive argument to persuade his audience how American involvement in the Vietnam War is unjust.

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发表于 2018-7-14 17:03:23 | 显示全部楼层
In the passage, “Beyond Vietnam - A Time to Break Silence” by Martin Luther King Jr, King makes an argument claiming that American involvement in the Vietnam War is unjust. Strategies that King employs to support his argument include reasoning, rhetorical, and appeals to emotion.

King supports his argument with reasons. He establishes himself as a person who wants to solve and tackle the issue of Vietnam for moral reasons. King reference(refers to) the domestic effects of an international conflict, and he makes the situation really personal and relevant as well(relevent) for US citizens. This connection makes people feel inspired to join King’s movement, since the the benefits of fighting against the war like reducing poverty is clearly mentioned by him. King also  describes how American involvement in Vietnam absorbed money from the program, and killed those programs was supposed to be helping - “demonic destructive suction tube”
作者其实通过自己的个人经历来论证越战的不合理,二三两段的个人经历作为重要例子是绕不开的,需要概括。此外第四段也有,建议两个相结合分析,这样才能分析得有洞见,而非一两句推理就结束了。

King uses an unique rhetorical technique to simplify the argument of opposition. King utilizes a simile in order to convince his audience. For example, in the passage, he writes “American would never invest the necessary funds or energies in rehabilitation of the poor so long as adventures like Vietnam continued to draw men and skills and money like some demonic destructive suction tube”. This compares Vietnam to a demonic object, making the passage easier to understand, also a really distinctive comparison. King made it look simple by comparing it to a demonic test tube, something that no one would support.
所举例子跟比喻无关,不够贴切

King appeals to emotion and morality. He talks about urging people to go against something that has been effectively created to seem infallibly immoral. He mainly focuses on the implications of the Vietnam war for the poor, - “extraordinarily high proportions”, (此处需句号)as he describes in the passage, he compares the conditions in Vietnam to the conditions in the US. He also describes how he has “walked among the desperate, rejected and angry young men”. Through his words and phrases, he evokes his empathy for soldiers who are fighting in the war. King also references how he had walked amongst the soldiers, this point makes himself appear to be(删去) more trustworthy and credible.   
本段分析空泛,角度就选的不好写,证据是最好写的。

Through his reasons, rhetorical, and appeals to emotions, King effectively creates a persuasive argument to persuade his audience how American involvement in the Vietnam War is unjust.

全文386个词,分析不足,句式缺乏多样性。建议阅读论坛liangyiting的essay,参照修改。
阅读:3分;分析:2分;写作:3分

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