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(评分2-2-2)新SAT OG P356的essay

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发表于 2018-7-13 07:59:28 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
In the passage Forward to Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Jimmy Carter builds an argument to persuade his audience that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should not be developed for industry. Carter uses evidence such as examples and personal experiments to support his claim. He uses unique, strong words and phrases to add power and emotions for audiences. Also Carter uses logo such as statistical information and facts to add support and power to the ideas that he expresses.

Carter first address his personal experiment with his wife to camp and hike in the regions of Arctic Refuge. This draws audiences’ attention about the topic, making people more curious about the place. He then talks about how brilliant the place was -- “There was timeless quality about this great land”
(need to add more…)

Carter uses strong, unique words to add power and emotions for audiences. In the passage, he uses words like “grunting”, “flooded”, “dramatic”, “tragedy”, and “spectacle” to add colors and tint for his reasons and claim, this makes audience care more and understand the seriousness of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and why it shouldn’t be developed for industry.
(not done...)

Carter uses logo to add support and power to the ideas that he expresses, Carter uses statistical information like “8.9 million-acre”, “more than 100 million acres of national parks refuge, and forests in Alaska”, “1 to 2 percent of the oil”. These statistical data communicate and support the author's point of view and gives credibility of his ideas.
(not done...)

Through evidences, strong word choices, and logos, Carter builds a strong argument to persuade his audience why the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should not be developed for industry.


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发表于 2018-7-13 16:17:08 | 显示全部楼层
In the passage Forward to Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Jimmy Carter builds an argument to persuade his audience that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should not be developed for industry. Carter uses evidence such as examples and personal experiments(experience) to support his claim. He uses unique, strong words and phrases to add power and emotions for audiences. Also Carter uses logo such as statistical information and facts to add support and power to the ideas that he expresses.

Carter first address his personal experiment with his wife to camp and hike in the regions of Arctic Refuge. (具体什么经历没有点明,比如看到了什么,需要paraphrase)This draws audiences’ attention about the topic, making people more curious about the place. He then talks about how brilliant the place was -- “There was timeless quality about this great land(该个人经历与主旨的关系以及如何影响读者)
(need to add more…)

Carter uses strong, unique words to add power and emotions for audiences. In the passage, he uses words like “grunting”, “flooded”, “dramatic”, “tragedy”, and “spectacle” to add colors and tint(分析太空泛,比如该词的意思及褒贬色彩等都要详细阐述) for his reasons and claim, (此处需另起一句)this makes audience care more and understand the seriousness of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and why it shouldn’t be developed for industry. 措辞都是跟appeal to emotions挂钩的,如何直接读者心灵也没有提到
(not done...)

Carter uses logo to add support and power to the ideas that he expresses, Carter uses statistical information like “8.9 million-acre”, “more than 100 million acres of national parks refuge, and forests in Alaska”, “1 to 2 percent of the oil”.(不能只是把数据扔出来,要解释它跟主旨的关系) These statistical data communicate and support the author's point of view and gives credibility of his ideas.
(not done...)

Through evidences, strong word choices, and logos, Carter builds a strong argument to persuade his audience why the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should not be developed for industry.

引用论据注意详尽,不要泛泛而谈,分析作用的时候结合课堂讲义和范文经典例句。

没写完,字数不够

阅读:2分;分析:2分;写作:2分
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