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(评分3-3-3)Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

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发表于 2018-3-9 09:28:50 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Through his foreword to “Arctic National Wildlife Refuge: Seasons of Life and Land, A Photographic Journey,” former US President Jimmy Carter argues against the industrialization of Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The usage of an anecdote, the establishment of authority as well as the contrast between what’s gain and lost strengthens his claim.

The majority of this essay is written in Carter’s point of view to appeal to pathos. He elaborates on his own experience while visiting the Arctic Refuge with his wife more than a decade ago. Just like most of us, he does not much about the Arctic Refuge, except maybe that there are some species of animals. He “had hoped to see caribou during our trip,” an expectation which he has already held high, but reality hits him hard: He “witnessed the migration of tens of thousands of caribou with their newborn calves,” a magnificent and grandeur scene to observe. In just a moment, everything became alive, and Carter captures the moment using phrases like “grunting animals and clicking hooves”, tinged with emotion, to builds a beautiful image for the readers that lets the imagine also being on the trip and witnessing this breathtaking moment with Carter.

Carter brings the reader back to reality by establishing the political standpoints on this matter -- himself being the former US President, as an appeal to ethos. Carter brings up Dwight D. Eisenhower, a former president in power of the opposite political party who “established the original 8.9 million-acre Arctic National Wildlife Range,” as well as mentioning that Carter himself “signed the Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act,” to give an example to his previous statement that the values of the Arctic Refuge have long been “recognized by both Republican and Democratic Presidents. This examples serves as a message that on the matter of conserving the environment, everyone should put away our differences and unite to protect the living rights of other species, thereby protecting earth. In the following paragraph, Carter goes on the mention the power of the crowd in the past -- that everyone spoke with one voice and had one common goal, and was able to succeed. With a former leader of the country who is so Go-Pro non-industrialization, people trust his words and believe that he is someone who thinks the best for what the country needs, thus they will be motivated to respond to calls for action made by Carter.

Finally, after detailed descriptions of the environmental benefits, Carter provides the economic gains in few short sentences, to highlight the contrast between the two. Carter states, “At best, the Arctic Refuge might provide 1 to 2 percent of the oil” with a dubious tone. The juxtaposition between the invaluable environmental benefits and make it easy for the readers to see what is more important. After presenting all of his data, Carter calls for action to look beyond the economical gain and preserve this “symbol of our national heritage,” “remnant of frontier America,” “grand triumph,” and “greatest gift.” These, are things that money can’t buy, so are extinct species.

By using a personal anecdote, calling attention to his authority and comparing and contrasting the benefits and drawbacks, former US President Jimmy Carter strengthens his argument that industrialization of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should not be allowed.
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发表于 2018-3-9 16:33:35 | 显示全部楼层
Through his foreword to “Arctic National Wildlife Refuge: Seasons of Life and Land, A Photographic Journey,” former US President Jimmy Carter argues against the industrialization of Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The usage of an anecdote, the establishment of authority as well as the contrast between what’s gain(加ed) and lost strengthens his claim.

The majority of this essay is written in Carter’s point of view to appeal to pathos. He elaborates on his own experience while visiting the Arctic Refuge with his wife more than a decade ago. Just like most of us, he does not (缺谓语)much about the Arctic Refuge, except maybe(删去) that there are some species of animals. He “had hoped to see caribou during our trip,” an expectation which he has already held high, but the reality hits him hard: He “witnessed the migration of tens of thousands of caribou with their newborn calves,” a magnificent and grandeur scene to observe. In just a moment, everything became alive, and Carter captures the moment using phrases like “grunting animals and clicking hooves”, tinged with emotion, to builds(present) a beautiful image for the readers that lets the imagine also being on(to imagine) the trip and witness this breathtaking moment with Carter. 文章第二段的信息也是anecdote,建议综合进来概括分析。

Carter brings the reader back to reality by establishing the political standpoints on this matter -- himself being the former US President, as an appeal to ethos. Carter brings up Dwight D. Eisenhower, a former president in power of the opposite political party who “established the original 8.9 million-acre Arctic National Wildlife Range,” as well as mentioning(平行结构,去ing) that Carter himself “signed the Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act,” to give an example to his previous statement that the values of the Arctic Refuge have long been “recognized by both Republican and Democratic Presidents. This example serves as a message that on the matter of conserving the environment, everyone should put away our(注意人称代词的统一) differences and unite to protect the living rights of other species, thereby protecting the earth. In the following paragraph, Carter goes on the(to) mention the power of the crowd in the past -- that everyone spoke with one voice and had one common goal, and was able to succeed. With a former leader of the country who is so Go-Pro non-industrialization, people trust his words and believe that he is someone who thinks the best for what the country needs,(后面的thus是副词,因此此处逗号须改为分号) thus they will be motivated to respond to calls for action made by Carter.此段后半段的分析属于权威吗?有点偏离。

Finally, after detailed descriptions of the environmental benefits, Carter provides the economic gains in a few short sentences to highlight the contrast between the two. Carter states, “At best, the Arctic Refuge might provide 1 to 2 percent of the oil” with a dubious tone. The juxtaposition between the invaluable environmental benefits(此处缺谓语) and make it easy for the readers to see what is more important. After presenting all of his data, Carter calls for action to look beyond the economical gain and preserve this “symbol of our national heritage,” “remnant of frontier America,” “grand triumph,” and “greatest gift.” These, are things that money can’t buy, so are extinct species. 本段首句需先提及准备从contrast角度分析,且缺乏如何影响读者。

By using a personal anecdote, calling attention to his authority and comparing and contrasting the benefits and drawbacks, former US President Jimmy Carter strengthens his argument that industrialization of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should not be allowed.

阅读:3分;分析:3分;写作:3分
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