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(评分4-3-3)Let There Be Dark Essay Analysis (计新格)

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发表于 2018-3-4 08:19:24 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Through his essay “Let There Be Dark,” Paul Bogard builds a persuasive argument on the importance of preserving natural darkness by using a personal anecdote, statistics, and scientific evidence.

In the first paragraph, Bogard tactically incorporated the appeal of pathos with his own experiences of living in complete darkness at night. He stated, “I knew night woods so dark that my hands disappeared before my eyes...skies in which meteors left smokey trails across sugary spreads of stars.” The older generations will likely deem this anecdote a relatable one, and this helps Bogard establish a connection with his audience. The younger generations will likely be intrigued by his detailed description and be motivated to preserve darkness in order to witness those sights. These two simple statements skillfully controlled people’s emotions and will cause the readers to ruminate this topic further as they continue reading the paragraph.

After his anecdote, Bogard presents statistics to appeal to Logos. He stated “8 of 10” in the first paragraph as well as in the sixth -- which is entirely designated to statistical evidence -- “6%,” “35,” and etc. These statistics attract audiences that are more highly educated compared to the ones that can relate to the personal anecdote and it helps them understand the grave situations better, and thus these higher educated people are more likely to side with the narrator. To those who don’t understand statistics, these numbers stand out in an ocean of words and they stick. These facts were obtained from credible sources as well, which in turn still makes Bogard a more believable narrator. But Bogard did not think just using an anecdote and statistics were enough.

On top of statistical evidences, Bogard added many scientific proof that further appeals to Logos and makes him an even stronger source. He stated, “Our bodies need darkness to produce the hormone melatonin, which keeps certain cancers from developing.” In adding the scientific component on the negatives of not having completely dark nights, people are more likely to listen. People in this field, such as scientist, will be more likely to listen to Bogard when they learn that he is someone reputable and has a good understanding of science. Above all, people care most about their well being and when that is affected or threatened, then they start really taking heed. Aside from how it affects the human body, he also adds facts about how it affects other wildlife in the fourth paragraph to appeal to Ethos. He mentions “the 400 species of birds,” “the sea turtles,” “the nocturnal and crepuscular species,” and the “80% of the world’s flora” to enlarge the circle of victimes to include all living things. This layer of fact not only attracts and appeals to those who are deeply involved with wildlife -- environmentalist -- but also brings the multitude of not having natural darkness to a deeper level, one that affects the entire Earth.

The uses of personal anecdote, statistics, as well as scientific evidence cover a wide scope of readers who are able to connect and agree with the narrator’s opinions. The three different aspects mentioned were not the only ones, but they already they appeal to Pathos, Ethos, and Logos. This makes Bogard’s argument one that is very persuasive.
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发表于 2018-3-4 22:07:15 | 显示全部楼层
Through his essay “Let There Be Dark,” Paul Bogard builds a persuasive argument on the importance of preserving natural darkness by using a personal anecdote, statistics, and scientific evidence.

In the first paragraph, Bogard tactically incorporated the appeal of pathos with his own experiences of living in complete darkness at night. He stated, “I knew night woods so dark that my hands disappeared before my eyes...skies in which meteors left smokey trails across sugary spreads of stars.”(此引用过长,建议拆成两段逐一分析,一个是能目睹到黑暗的特殊经历,另一个是星空独特的美) The older generations will likely deem this anecdote a relatable one, and this helps Bogard establish a connection with his audience. The younger generations will likely be intrigued by his detailed description of the beauty of the night and be motivated to preserve darkness in order to witness those sights. These two(指代不清) simple statements skillfully controlled(evoked) people’s emotions and will cause(render) the readers ruminate this topic further as they continue reading the paragraph.

After his anecdote, Bogard presents statistics to appeal to Logos. He stated “8 of 10” in the first paragraph as well as in the sixth(表意不清) -- which is entirely designated to statistical evidence -- “6%,” “35,” and etc. (引用论据的时候不要堆砌,选取一到两个逐一分析即可)These statistics attract audiences(集合名词 the audience) that are more highly educated compared to the ones that can relate to the personal anecdote(改为lend legitimacy to ...更合适) and it helps them understand the grave situations better, and thus these higher educated people are more likely to side with the narrator. To those who don’t understand statistics, these numbers stand out in an ocean of words and they stick(重复且不够正式,删去). These facts were obtained from credible sources(最好点明) as well, which in turn still makes Bogard a more believable(reliable) narrator. But Bogard did not think just using an anecdote and statistics were enough.(末句总结该分析角度与主旨的关系即可)

On top of statistical evidences(不可数,去s), Bogard added many scientific proof that further appeals to Logos(主题段落二和三都是appeal to logoes,须换一个视角分析) and makes him an even stronger source. He stated, “Our bodies need darkness to produce the hormone melatonin, which keeps certain cancers from developing.” In adding the scientific component on the negatives of not having completely dark nights, people are more likely to listen. People in this field, such as scientist, will be more likely to listen to Bogard when they learn that he is someone reputable and has a good understanding of science. Above all, people care most about their well being and when that is affected or threatened, then they start really taking heed. Aside from how it affects the human body, he also adds facts about how it affects other wildlife in the fourth paragraph to appeal to Ethos. He mentions “the 400 species of birds,” “the sea turtles,” “the nocturnal and crepuscular species,” and the “80% of the world’s flora” to enlarge the circle of victimes to include all living things. This layer of fact not only attracts and appeals to those who are deeply involved with wildlife -- environmentalist -- but also brings the multitude of not having natural darkness to a deeper level, one that affects the entire Earth.

The uses of personal anecdote, statistics, as well as scientific evidence cover a wide scope of readers who are able to connect and agree with the narrator’s opinions. The three different aspects mentioned were not the only ones, but they already they appeal to Pathos, Ethos, and Logos. This makes Bogard’s argument one that is very persuasive.

分析略显单一,三个主体段落都是证据,尤其主体段落二和三分析雷同,建议替换其一为修辞语言方面的分析,情理相结合的分析最佳。
阅读:4分;分析:3分;写作:3分
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