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(评分4-3-3)SAT OG(2018版)-P356 Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

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发表于 2017-11-10 06:43:14 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
In the passage, former US President Jimmy Carter hasexpressed explicitly the necessity of preserving Arctic National WildlifeRefuge and preventing it from the negative impacts brought by development ofindustry. In order to reach his goal of informing the readers the importance ofthe refuge’s existence and asking them to act promptly, Jimmy Carter utilizesdelicate diction, personal anecdote, and historical facts throughout thepassage.

Perfect word choice effectively helps Jimmy Carter reach hispurpose to emphasize the unique natural beauty the Arctic National WildlifeRefuge preserves. The author begins the passage with an overall description ofwhat it is like in the refuge and builds a vivid imagery depicting the wildlife’shabitat over there where “Dall sheep cling to cliffs and wolves howl in themidnight sun”. Verbs such as “cling” and “howl” make the natural scene immediatelyprojected in front of the readers. In addition, the author also describes howmuskox walks as they “meander toward the Beaufort Sea”. All these well-chosenwords have contributed to building a relaxing natural scene where wild animalshave mingled with the nature, so undisturbed.

Besides the general description of Arctic National Wildlife Refuge,the author also includes his personal anecdote with the place where he luckilywitnessed the remarkable “national heritage”, as it written in the passage,with his wife Rosalynn. When trekking in that peaceful paradise, Jimmy Carterwas clearly muted when he encountered with “tens of thousands of caribou withtheir newborn calves”. He highly praises the place afterwards, commenting thatit worth the name of “America’s Serengeti”. By alluding to his own experience,Jimmy Carter makes himself credible and effectively evokes the readers to realizethe beauty and pricelessness of the refuge.

After describing the impeccable natural beauty, Jimmy Carterrefers to potential hazards, namely industrialization, that might endanger thebeautiful place and, by mentioning historical events, actions that had taken beforeas well as new thoughts and evil attempts—to make profit out of the naturalresources lying under the land— in the present days. In order to combatproblems caused by building infrastructure on top of the refuge, Jimmy Carterexplicitly alludes to the Arctic National Wildlife Range established in 1960 byPresident Eisenhower and the Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act hesigned himself before. Although the protection had yielded some promising results,Jimmy Carter sadly indicates that situation changed a little bit since he leftthe office. In other words, some “repeated proposals” had asked to open the refugefor oil drilling purposes despite the reluctance of Gwich’, who are the locals.By referring to the thoughts of local people, Jimmy Carter enlarges theimportance of the refuge to American people and exemplifies the urgent needs toact promptly to protect the national refuge since “little of that preciouswilderness remains”.

In a nutshell, Jimmy Carter repeats the uses of good diction,personal experience, and historical events to make the readers reach a mutualagreement with him that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should be preserveddelicately, making it free from rapacious attempts of some who only really wantto extract money out of the vulnerable ecosystem.

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发表于 2017-11-10 10:49:55 | 显示全部楼层
In the passage, former US President Jimmy Carter has expressed explicitly the necessity of preserving Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and preventing it from the negative impacts brought by development of industry. In order to reach his goal of informing the readers the importance of the refuge’s existence and asking them to act promptly, Jimmy Carter utilizes delicate diction, personal anecdote, and historical facts throughout the passage.

Perfect word choice effectively helps Jimmy Carter reach his purpose to emphasize the unique natural beauty the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge preserves. The author begins the passage with an overall description ofwhat it is like in the refuge and builds a vivid imagery depicting the wildlife’s habitat over there where “Dall sheep cling to cliffs and wolves howl in themidnight sun”. Verbs such as “cling” and “howl” make the natural scene immediately projected in front of the readers. In addition, the author also describes how muskox walks as they “meander toward the Beaufort Sea”. All these well-chosenwords have contributed to building a relaxing natural scene where wild animal shave mingled with the nature, so undisturbed.
此段没有分析如何影响读者

Besides the general description of Arctic National Wildlife Refuge,the author also includes his personal anecdote with the place where he luckily witnessed the remarkable “national heritage”, as it is written in the passage,with his wife Rosalynn. When trekking in that peaceful paradise, Jimmy Carter was clearly muted when he encountered with “tens of thousands of caribou with their newborn calves”. He highly praises the place afterwards, commenting that it is worth the name of “America’s Serengeti”. By alluding to his own experience,Jimmy Carter makes himself credible and effectively evokes the readers to realize the beauty and pricelessness of the refuge.
此段的个人经历缺乏如何与首段提到的主旨相关联

After describing the impeccable natural beauty, Jimmy Carter refers to potential hazards, namely industrialization, that might endanger the beautiful place and, by mentioning historical events, actions that had taken before as well as new thoughts and evil attempts—to make profit out of the natural resources lying under the land— in the present days. (这个句子太长,插入语不要用太多,建议拆分,方便阅读)In order to combat problems caused by building infrastructure on top of the refuge, Jimmy Carter explicitly alludes to the Arctic National Wildlife Range established in 1960 by President Eisenhower and the Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act he signed himself before. Although the protection had yielded some promising results, Jimmy Carter sadly indicates that situation changed a little bit since he left the office. In other words, some “repeated proposals” had asked to open the refugefor oil drilling purposes despite the reluctance of Gwich’, who are the locals.By referring to the thoughts of local people, Jimmy Carter enlarges the importance of the refuge to American people and exemplifies the urgent needs toact promptly to protect the national refuge since “little of that preciouswilderness remains”.
此段分析比较详实,建议跟主体段落一的位置对调,重要的先写。

In a nutshell, Jimmy Carter repeats the uses of good diction,personal experience, and historical events to make the readers reach a mutual agreement with him that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should be preserved delicately, making(rendering) it free from rapacious attempts of some who only really want to extract money out of the vulnerable ecosystem.

全篇482个词,字数最好在五六百字,才能深入分析。能准确把握文章主旨和重要细节,文章结构清晰,语言有点冗长,不一定都写长句。除了插入语的使用,句式可以再多样化一些,比如开头结尾段结合讲义用上倒装句或者强调句。
阅读:4分;分析:3分;写作:3分

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