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(评分3-3-3)OG P470 Martin Luther King Jr. Essay

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发表于 2017-12-30 04:55:38 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
            MartinLuther King Jr., a very famous civil rights leader, believes that it is unjustfor America to be involved in the Vietnam War. In King’s speech, he persuadeshis audiences by using precise word choice, strong comparison, and anaphora.
            King’sskill in word choice makes his argument persuasive. In the first paragraph,King describes the connection between Vietnam War and the struggle the Americanare facing as “very obvious and almost facile,” illustrating that the U.S,government only cares about its power and influence in the world while ignoringits immediate domestic issues(Line 2-4). This supports King’s argument that Americaninvolvement in Vietnam War is unjust. To further explain how he view theVietnam War, King states that the war is “an enemy of the poor,” showing hisopposition to American involvement in the Vietnam War(Line 12-13).
            Throughout King’s speech, he compares what American government is trying to achieve inVietnam to what the American people want to get. He compares that Americangovernment is trying to guarantee liberties in Southeast Asia to that Americanpeople are not yet being equally treated, the Americans’ relative peacefullives in America to the soldiers’ tough and dangerous life in Vietnam, and thesolidarity among the black and white soldiers on front line to the conflict andhigh wall between the black and the white in Chicago(Line 17-24). The sharpcontrast demonstrates how destructive and draining the Vietnam War is to theAmerica, and conveys a sense of urgency to stop the war and focus on solvingthe conflicts in America.
            Kingskillfully uses a rhetorical device—anaphora—to attract his audience’sattention and to strengthen his argument. Telling a personal anecdote about howhe tries to persuade the angry rebellions that violence cannot solve theproblem but is unable to answer why the government is using violence, Kingstarts his sentences with “I have” to give the story credibility and to makehis audience think about this question as well(Line 28-34). Then he reasonsthat to answer the question and to appease the angry Americans, King again usesanaphora, three sentences started with “for the sake of,” to convince hisaudience to stand by him is for a greater good(Line37-38).
            Usingprecise word choice, strong comparison, and anaphora, King makes a concreteargument that shows America is unjustly involving in the Vietnam War.

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发表于 2017-12-31 13:27:51 | 显示全部楼层
MartinLuther King Jr., a very famous civil rights leader, believes that it is unjust for America to be involved in the Vietnam War. In King’s speech, he persuades his audiences(集合名词,不需要s) by using precise word choice, strong comparison, and anaphora.
            King’s skill in word choice makes his argument persuasive. In the first paragraph, King describes the connection between Vietnam War and the struggle the American(加s) are facing as “very obvious and almost facile,” illustrating that the U.S,government only cares about its power and influence in the world while ignoring its immediate domestic issues(Line 2-4). This supports King’s argument that American involvement in Vietnam War is unjust. To further explain how he view theVietnam War, King states that the war is “an enemy of the poor,” showing his opposition to American involvement in the Vietnam War(Line 12-13).
主体段落一的分析更像是在分析reasoning,而非具体措辞的感情色彩,定位要准确,选材要典型。
            Throughout King’s speech, he compares what American government is trying to achieve in Vietnam to what the American people want to get. He compares the high-sounding statement that American government is trying to guarantee liberties in Southeast Asia to the brutal fact that American people are not yet being equally treated,contrasting the Americans’ relative peaceful lives in America to the soldiers’ tough and dangerous life in Vietnam, and the solidarity among the black and white soldiers on front line to the conflict and high wall between the black and the white in Chicago(Line 17-24). The sharp contrast demonstrates how destructive and draining the Vietnam War is to the(删除)America, and conveys a sense of urgency to stop the war and focus on solving the conflicts in America. 如何影响读者接受作者观点没有分析。鲜明对比在第三段也有,既然首句说全篇都有,第三段的最好也要概括出来。
            King skillfully uses a rhetorical device—anaphora—to attract his audience’s attention and to strengthen his argument. Telling a personal anecdote about how he tries to persuade the angry rebellions that violence cannot solve the problem but is unable to answer why the government is using violence, King starts his sentences with “I have” to give the story credibility and to makehis audience think about this question as well(Line 28-34). Then he reasons that to answer the question and to appease the angry Americans, King again uses anaphora, three sentences started with “for the sake of,” to convince his audience to stand by him is for a greater good(Line37-38).该段试图从排比修辞进行分析,但是前半段是在说contrast,对修辞的分析语言太少,只有一句话,很空泛,缺乏主旨的联系,而且主体段落二已经有修辞的分析了,建议主体段落三改为personal experience分析,毕竟证据是最明显的分析角度,是文章的重要例子,不可舍本逐末。
            Using precise word choice, strong comparison, and anaphora, King makes a concrete argument that shows America is unjustly involving in the Vietnam War.

全文361个词,字数偏少,分析不够到位,一些句子成分残缺。阅读:3分;分析:3分;写作:3分

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