请选择 进入手机版 | 继续访问电脑版
设为首页收藏本站

一起SAT论坛

 找回密码
 立即注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

更多»
搜索
热搜: 活动 交友 discuz
查看: 230|回复: 1

(评分3-3-3)作文-OG-P470-Beyond Vietnam-A Time to Break Silence

[复制链接]

3

主题

3

帖子

597

积分

付费学员

Rank: 3Rank: 3

积分
597
发表于 2017-12-27 09:47:20 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Becauseof the Vietnam War, both U.S. and Vietnam were deeply affected. The author,Martin Luther King Jr., wrote in his article”Beyond Vietname- A Time to BreakSilence”to state that American involvement in the Vietnam War is unjust throughthe use of analogy, anecdote, and hypothetical example.
Theauthor built a convincing, logical argument by using analogy at the beginningof the article. The author wrote” There is at the…been waging in America”torefer the comparison between the Vietnam war and the struggle I, which bothstarted with a poverty program. By employing this specific comparison, theauthor vividly demonstrated the result of Vietnam War was as the same as thatof the struggle I. It helped audience who does not understand the situation tobuild a connection between the Vietnam War and the struggle I in order to getthe author’s point. So through this comparison, the readers who have beenthrough the struggle I could easily understand the similarities the Vietnam warhad. Furthermore, the author provided another comparison between SouthernChristian Leadership Conference and the War in Vietnam. “we were convinced…ignore the present war”showed that in the past, the only solution of getting freedomin American was abandoning the slave system. Similarly, then the solution is tostop the war in Vietnam. In order to create a connection for the readers tounderstand, Martine Luther King Jr. utilized this analogy between the VietnamWar and Slave system. By the successful example to make a comparison, theauthor effectively showed that the war was as unjust as the Slave system, whichis strongly related and supported his central claim.
Butanalogy may still not be convincing enough for people who have not been throughboth the Vietnam War and the struggle I. The author cited his own stories. Theauthor firstly introduced his experience in the ghettoes of the North, “As Ihave…would not solve their problems.” By describing the scene that poor menwere holding weapons angrily and tried to fight against the government, theauthor emphasized a background for the readers who did not know what happenedin America before. And he also told people his opinion that violence could nothelp people to get better, which was strongly related to his central idea. Thenhe added, “I have told them…what about Vietnam?” When the readers read thispart, they could realize that during the past, people were influenced by theVietnam War and believed only weapons on their hands could help them get out ofthe poverty. By telling this personal story, the author delineated thatAmerican involvement in the Vietnam War was actually creating extremely negativeeffect.
Lastly,the author ended the article with a hypothetical example, “It can…health of ourland!” The author briefly made his hypothesis about the possible outcome of theVietnam War, Which could help the audience to create a imagination and won thereaders over. After reading the hypothesis and making a connection with thehistory, the readers will find out that if American keep attacking Vietnam,many countries including America itself, will lose the justice and the healthof their lands. The audience could realize the emergency of stopping the warand bringing peace around the world. This hypothesis helped support the author’sview that war is not the solution, but the injustice.
Theauthor technically employed analogy, personal anecdote, and hypothetical in hisarticle; vividly, convincedly,  andeffectively supported his opinion—American involvement in the Vietnam War isunjust.

回复

使用道具 举报

173

主题

319

帖子

1万

积分

管理员

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

积分
11326
发表于 2017-12-28 11:58:08 | 显示全部楼层
Because of the Vietnam War, both U.S. and Vietnam were deeply affected. The author,Martin Luther King Jr., wrote in his article”Beyond Vietname- A Time to Break Silence”to state that American involvement in the Vietnam War is unjust throughthe use of analogy, anecdote, and hypothetical example.

The author built a convincing, logical argument by using analogy at the beginningof the article. The author wrote” There is at the…been waging in America”to refer the comparison between the Vietnam war and the struggle I, which both started with a poverty program. By employing this specific comparison, the author vividly demonstrated the result of Vietnam War was as the same as that of the struggle I. It helped audience who does not understand the situation to build a connection between the Vietnam War and the struggle I in order to get the author’s point. So through this comparison, the readers who have been through the struggle I could easily understand the similarities the Vietnam war had. (这个对比跟本文主旨关系并不是很密切,因此分析就很难做到深入,注意选材)Furthermore, the author provided another comparison between Southern Christian Leadership Conference and the War in Vietnam. “we were convinced…ignore the present war”showed that in the past, the only solution of getting(acquirng 注意使用书面语) freedom in American(America) was abandoning the slave system. Similarly, then the solution is to stop the war in Vietnam. In order to create a connection for the readers to understand, Martine Luther King Jr. utilized this analogy between the Vietnam War and Slave system. By the successful example to make a comparison, the author effectively showed that the war was as unjust as the Slave system, which is strongly related and supported his central claim(不平行).

But analogy may still not be convincing enough for people who have not been throughboth the Vietnam War and the struggle I. The author cited his own stories. The author firstly introduced his experience in the ghettoes of the North, “As I have…would not solve their problems.” By describing the scene that poor men were holding weapons angrily and tried to fight against the government, the author emphasized a background for the readers who did not know what happened in America before. And he also told people his opinion that violence could not help people to get better, which was strongly related to his central idea. Then he added, “I have told them…what about Vietnam?” When the readers read thispart, they could realize that during the past, people were influenced by theVietnam War and believed only weapons on their hands could help them get out ofthe poverty. By telling this personal story, the author delineated that American involvement in the Vietnam War was actually creating extremely negativeeffect. 本段大量转述原文的语言,分析却太少。

Lastly, the author ended the article with a hypothetical example, “It can…health of ourland!” The author briefly made his hypothesis about the possible outcome of the Vietnam War, Which could help the audience to create a imagination and won the readers over. After reading the hypothesis and making a connection with the history, the readers will find out that if American keep attacking Vietnam,many countries including America itself, will lose the justice and the health of their lands. The audience could realize the emergency of stopping the war and bringing peace around the world. This hypothesis helped support the author’sview that war is not the solution, but the injustice. 末段末句是比喻的手法,如果说美国民主与自由是美国的灵魂,那么作者认为参与越战就是腐蚀该灵魂,就是走向不健康,因此要抵制该战争,说服力上可以从appeal to ethos and pathos来论证。

Theauthor technically employed analogy, personal anecdote, and hypothetical in hisarticle; vividly, convincedly,  andeffectively supported his opinion—American involvement in the Vietnam War isunjust.

对文章主旨的理解不够准确,分析手法还需进一步识别和甄选,语言表述还比较清晰,注意用词和句式多样性。
阅读:3分;分析:3分;写作:3分


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册 一键登录: 更多»

本版积分规则

QQ|权利声明|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|一起SAT论坛 ( 闽ICP备16038975号  

GMT+8, 2018-5-22 18:10 , Processed in 0.140686 second(s), 28 queries .

Powered by Discuz! X3.2

© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表