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(评分4-3-3)-新SAT方法班写作讲义(170801版)p13-Let there

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发表于 2017-12-24 08:28:00 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Let there be dark

        In Paul Bogard’s “Let there be dark” editorila for the Los Angelos Time, he argues that natural darkness should be preserved. By the end of this piece, readers will likely to find themselves nodding in agreement with what Paul Bogard has to say. Pau Bogard employs contrast, appeals to authority, and statistical examples to plead with the audience to take her side.
        Bogard starts his article off by employing a sharp contrast. The writer first claims that, “At my family’s cabin on a Minnesota lake, I knew woods so dark that my hands disapperaed before my eyes,” indicating the dark environment that he had during his childhood. Later, Bogard metions the opposite phenomenon: “But now, when 8 of 10 children born in the United States will never know a sky dark enough for the Milky Way, I worry we are rapidly losing night’s natural darkness before realizing its worth.” This phrase appeals the truth that the children from nowday are losing the beauty of the darkness. By juxtaposing the old time when the darkness is around us to the modern life that we are rapidly losing night’s natural darkness, Bogard  unfolds the cold fact that people are losing the darkness in our enviornment. The contrast serves as a vehicle to highlight the irony and gravity of the lost of darkness, drawing the audience into the issue addressed by the writing.
        Bogard cites the research result from an experiment of sleep disorders conducted by an authortative source (the World Health Organization), “our bodies need darkness to produce the hormone melationin, which keeps certain cancers from developing, and our bodies need darknesss for sleep” to lend more credibility to the point that “the world depends on darkness.” Futhermore, the recent research suggests on main cause of “short sleep” is “long light,” further indicates the importance of darkness, which persuades the readers to pay more attention on the importance of darkness in our enviornment. The utilization of research results emphasizes severity of the problem, spurring readers to pay more attention upont this issue.
        Last but not least, Bogard’s use of strong numerical evidence shores up his argument and makes issue seem more important and urgent. The author reveals that our nights are growing brighter: “In the United States Western Europe, the amount of light in the sky increases an average of about 6% every year. Those of us over 35 are perhaps among the last generation to have known truly dark nights.” The statistical data increase the credibility that “we are losing the darkness from the enviornment.” Bogard points out that if we ignore the importance of darkness, our futhur generations may not experience what we have have right now. The utilization of statistics affords readers the opportunity to examine the proofs objectively and independently, increasing reader;s readiness to take the author’s side.
        It is through many rhetorical devices that Paul Bogard sells his argument. Contrast, appeals to authority, and statistical examples contribute to an exceptionally well-written argument. It is his utilization of these practices and more that makes this article worthy of recognition.

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发表于 2017-12-24 15:06:34 | 显示全部楼层
Let there be dark
        In PaulBogard’s “Let there be dark” editorial for the Los Angelos Time, he argues thatnatural darkness should be preserved. By the end of this piece, readers willlikely to(删除) find themselves nodding in agreement with what Paul Bogard has tosay. Pau Bogard employs contrast, appeals to authority, and statisticalexamples to plead with the audience to take her side.
        Bogardstarts his article off by employing a sharp contrast. The writer first claimsthat, “At my family’s cabin on a Minnesota lake, I knew woods so dark that myhands disapperaed before my eyes,” indicating the dark environment that he had 缺谓语experienced during his childhood. Later, Bogard metions the opposite phenomenon: “But now,when 8 of 10 children born in the United States will never know a sky darkenough for the Milky Way, I worry we are rapidly losing night’s naturaldarkness before realizing its worth.” This phrase appeals 缺to the truth that thechildren from nowaday are losing the opportunities to appreciate the beauty of the darkness. By juxtaposing theold time when the darkness is around us to the modern life that we are rapidlylosing night’s natural darkness, Bogard  unfolds the cold fact thatpeople are losing the darkness in our enviornment. The contrast serves as avehicle to highlight the irony and gravity of the lost(loss) of darkness, drawing theaudience into the issue addressed by the writing.
        此处缺乏过渡Bogard citesthe research result from an experiment of sleep disorders conducted by anauthortative source (the World Health Organization), “our bodies need darknessto produce the hormone melationin, which keeps certain cancers from developing,and our bodies need darknesss for sleep” (这么长的细节自己语言概括就可以了)to lend more credibility to the pointthat “the world depends on darkness.” Futhermore, the recent research suggestson(that the) main cause of “short sleep” is “long light,” 缺连词and further indicates theimportance of darkness, which persuades the readers to pay more attention onthe importance of darkness in our enviornment. The utilization of research emphasizes the severity of the problem, spurring readers to pay moreattention upon(to) this issue.
        Last but notleast, Bogard’s use of strong numerical evidence shores up his argument andmakes issue seem more important and urgent. The author reveals that our nightsare growing brighter: “In the United States Western Europe, the amount of lightin the sky increases an average of about 6% every year. Those of us over 35 areperhaps among the last generation to have known truly dark nights.” (引语过长,需要自己总结)Thestatistical data increase the credibility that “we are losing the darkness fromthe enviornment.” Bogard points out that if we ignore the importance ofdarkness, our futhur(future) generations may not experience what we have have rightnow. The utilization of statistics affords readers the opportunity to examinethe proofs(去s) objectively and independently, increasing reader’s readiness to takethe author’s side.
      It is through many rhetorical devices that Paul Bogard sells hisargument. Contrast, appeals to authority, and statistical examples contributeto an exceptionally well-written argument. It is his utilization of thesepractices and more that makes this article worthy of recognition.


能准确理解文章主旨及重要细节,分析到位,但能更深刻些就更好了 。语言有些许语法错误,句式存在多样性。
阅读:4分;分析:3分;写作:3分
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