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(评分4-4-3)SAT OG(2018)-P822 Viewpoint:air conditioning will be……

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发表于 2017-11-19 11:50:02 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Eric Klinenberg, in his passage published in 2013, demonstrates both the apparent and potential negativities brought by the overusing of air conditioners in America and persuades his readers that putting on the air conditioning in a strategic fashion is crucial to preserving the environment and keeping the wellbeing of the society. In his article, Eric Klinenberg effectively uses abundant numbers of factual examples, personal anecdote with humorous tone, and words with strong connotations to convey his points in a efficient way.

Throughout the article, the author utilizes the authority from the reality to illustrate that it is an urgency that the issues caused by air-conditioning need to be solved. Mr Klinenberg, in order to first inform the readers that it is already a prevalent phenomenon that American people are using more and more of cooling systems, simply points out the truth that Americans are using twice as much energy for air-conditioning as they were two decades ago. This piece of information is capable of appalling the readers for a while when they try hard to process it since a multiplicative factor of two for energy usage is shocking to people with common sense. After stating the raucously much energy we are using nowadays for cooling, the author points out, by using logos, the factor that allures most people to use air-conditioners is hot air instead of bad “cross-ventilation from fans and windows”—the legitimate reason that the author believes people instead should have in using cooling machines. The reason Mr Klinenberg repudiate the use of air-conditioning simply because of hot air is that we would be made even hotter in doing so since more “artic air” is pumping out as we are adapting to the “climate-change” recently. After that, the author restates the fact that more and more energy is being used to air conditioning as he goes on to talk about the relatively “low cost” of “cranking the AC”. All these facts Mr Klinenberg has put together in his article connect with each other well and tightly, clearly explaining the reasoning for why people should reduce the amount of AC consumption and how urgent this matter is. The readers will be coherently informed and nod their heads with the author after reading through the lines.

In addition to simple facts, the author successfully indents his personal anecdote into the passage through humorous tone to inform the readers. In fact, he starts the whole paper off with his personal experience on communicating with his utility provider who issued a “heat alert and advised customers to use air-conditioning ‘wisely’”. Although people might initially think this comment is funny, the following context quickly shows that the utility provider are correct but helpless. This way of conveying information allows readers to accept the central point quickly and makes the information reasonable. Also, phrases like “ban big sodas”, where the author conveys the impossibility for New York city to put up the right law, help relaxes the tension created from elsewhere of the passage.

Moreover, the author uses precise word choices to emphasize his reasonings. As the author writes in the first paragraph, overusing AC is absolutely a “dumb” action as a “climate-change adaptation strategy” is being adopted. The word “dumb”, with perfectly negative connotation, establishes a contrast between what people are trying to accomplish with what they are really doing. The readers would find themselves laugh a bit and agree to what the author says. Other words such as “blasting” in the last paragraph also creates similar effect, namely establishing the contrast between dream and reality. So powerful the diction is that all the essential ideas of the author are conveyed smoothly to the readers.

It is with the perfect manipulations with facts, stories, and words that the author coherently accomplishes his article, informing readers the dangers of keeping overusing AC when it is not necessary. The author completes his writing goals with perfect sense, making the article reasonable and readable.
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发表于 2017-11-19 19:13:52 | 显示全部楼层
Eric Klinenberg, in his passage published in 2013, demonstrates both the apparent and potential negativities brought by the overusing of air conditioners in America and persuades his readers that putting on(表意不清) the air conditioning in a strategic fashion is crucial to preserving the environment and keeping the wellbeing of the society. In his article, Eric Klinenberg effectively uses abundant numbers(a number) of factual examples, personal anecdote with humorous tone, and words with strong connotations to convey his points in a(an) efficient way.

Throughout the article, the author utilizes the authority from the reality(concrete facts) to illustrate that it is an urgency that the issues caused by air-conditioning need to be solved. Mr Klinenberg, in order to first inform the readers that it is already a prevalent phenomenon that American people are using more and more of cooling systems, simply points out the truth that Americans are using twice as much energy for air-conditioning as they were two decades ago. This piece of information is capable of appalling the readers for a while when they try hard to process it since a multiplicative factor of two for energy usage is shocking to people with common sense. After stating the raucously much energy we are using nowadays for cooling, the author points out, by using logos, the factor that allures most people to use air-conditioners is hot air instead of bad “cross-ventilation from fans and windows”—the legitimate reason that the author believes people instead should have in using cooling machines. The reason Mr Klinenberg repudiate the use of air-conditioning simply because of hot air is that we would be made(hot air is what we made) even hotter in doing so since more “artic air” is pumping out as we are adapting to the “climate-change” recently. After that, the author restates the fact that more and more energy is being used to air conditioning as he goes on to talk about the relatively “low cost” of “cranking the AC”. All these facts Mr Klinenberg has put together in his article connect(connected) with each other well and tightly, clearly explaining the reasoning for why people should reduce the amount of AC consumption and how urgent this matter is. The readers will be coherently informed and nod their heads with the author after reading through the lines.

In addition to simple facts, the author successfully indents his personal anecdote into the passage through humorous tone to inform the readers. In fact, he starts the whole paper off with his personal experience on communicating with his utility provider who issued a “heat alert and advised customers to use air-conditioning ‘wisely’”. Although people might initially think this comment is funny, the following context quickly shows that the utility provider are correct but helpless. This way of conveying information allows readers to accept the central point quickly and makes the information reasonable. Also, phrases like “ban big sodas”, where the author conveys the impossibility for New York city to put up the right law, help relaxes(releave) the tension created from elsewhere of the passage.

Moreover, the author uses precise word choices to emphasize his reasonings. As the author writes in the first paragraph, overusing AC is absolutely a “dumb” action as a “climate-change adaptation strategy” is being adopted. The word “dumb”, with perfectly negative connotation, establishes a contrast between what people are trying to accomplish with what they are really doing. The readers would find themselves laugh a bit and agree to what the author says. Other words such as “blasting”  and... in the last paragraph also creates(去掉s) similar effect, namely establishing the contrast between dream and reality. So powerful the diction is(is the diction) that all the essential ideas of the author are conveyed smoothly to the readers.

It is with the perfect manipulations with facts, stories, and words that the author coherently accomplishes his article, informing readers the dangers of keeping overusing AC when it is not necessary. The author completes his writing goals with perfect sense, making the article reasonable and readable.

能够准确理解文章主旨和重要例子,分析到位,结构清晰,过渡自然,但需要避免一些语法错误。阅读:4分;分析:4分:写作:3分
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