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(评分3-3-3)2016年5月SAT真题作文-The Lovely Stones

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发表于 2016-8-10 04:35:31 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
The prominent sculptor Getano Lee, Jr once alleged: “Maintainingone’s culture values and traditions is beyond price.” It’s easy to exploit theessence of this well-known proverbial saying which all of us that are living inthe Earth must keep culture relics from homeless. In Christopher Hitchens’ TheLovely Stones, he craftily and emotionally introduces the significance ofreuniting the Parthenon by adopting facts to depict its milieu, utilizingrhetorical devices, and employing statistics.

In order to expose the mischief of Pantheon by imperialisticrobbers, the author begins his argument with its background illustrating itsfrustrating vicissitudes. By using “ Christian church”, “mosque”, “garrison andarsenal”, and “Nazi flag”, he dedicates to reveal the tatty and shabbystructures of Pantheon after the ablution by time and further divulge aundeniable fact that this culture relic has been heavily abused and mutilated.Ongoing, the author further strengthens his argument by describing a specifichistorical background-------British dilapidation and low-priced transaction soas to magnify the dehumanized damages of Pantheon by English, and furtherevokes the protection awareness of people. This background serves as a backboneto highlight the resolution of the author that he wishes the Pantheon will bereunited one day, and drawing readers into the issue addressed by the article.

Additionally, Hitchens exquisitely enhances his argument byemploying rhetorical devices. In the third paragraph, the adoption of rhetoricalquestion energetically accentuates the importance of keeping relicsal-together. Mona Lisa is a predominant artistic treasury and nobody wants herto be homeless, and this ingenious adoption accurately radiates the yearning ofthe author that precipitated in his heart------to make Pantheon and otherrelics complete. What’s more, he props his idea by utilizing the analogy  “the body of the goddess Iris is at presentin London, while her head is in Athens. The front part of the torso of Poseidonis in London, and the reap art is in Athens” in order to shows how bad it willbe if Pantheon is still separated. And then the sentence “this is grotesque”eventually evokes a graceful wishes of citizens by appealing to pathos that authorponders it’s ridiculous that fragments of Pantheon are dotted all around theEurope, and it should be back to her hometown. With the help of the rhetoricaldevices, Hitchens successfully buttresses his credibility and legitimacy of hisargument, and galvanizes agog emotions of audiences.

In order to exemplifies his argument deeper and deeper,Hitchens uses statistics that vividly places his argument into afocus------Greece is the best place to keep Parthenon. At the very inception offifth paragraph, Hitchens utilizes several numbers “20th century” “19thscentury” and “ 1450 square meters” to claim that a hundred and even more yearsago, Greece wasn’t not only capable of preserving Parthenon due to itsenvironmental pollutions like acid rains, but also the narrow space of Acropolismuseum. However, by negatively denying of its capability at first, the authorvirtually paves his idea below that after a century of struggling, Greece isstrong enough to preserve Parthenon, and Hitchens employs “ 1992” and “10 timesthe space of the old repository” to strengthen his argument. By showing a seriesof numbers, Hitchens emphasizes his central argument strongly, effectively andintuitionally. At the end of this paragraph, Hitchens tightens the heartstringsof readers by appealing to emotion that today if Parthenon is able to back homesuccessfully, wishes of people will come true. By putting himself beside thereader as a propagandist, he equals them, and makes himself more likeable inthe process.

After reading this passage, there seems to be no otherchoice than wishing Parthenon back to her cradle. Hitchens successfullydevelops his argument viscously by introducing the fact of its background,utilizing rhetorical devices and employing statistics.


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发表于 2016-8-10 17:01:51 | 显示全部楼层
The prominent sculptor Getano Lee, Jr once alleged: “Maintaining one’s culture values and traditions is beyond price.” It’s easy to exploit the essence of this well-known proverbial saying which(同位语从句需用that引导) all of us that are living in the Earth must keep culture relics from homeless. In Christopher Hitchens’ TheLovely Stones, he craftily and emotionally introduces the significance of reuniting the Parthenon by adopting facts to depict its milieu, utilizing rhetorical devices, and employing statistics.

In order to expose the mischief(mishap) of Pantheon by imperialistic robbers, the author begins his argument with its background illustrating its frustrating vicissitudes(需点明 historical evidence这个分析视角). By using “ Christian church”, “mosque”, “garrison andarsenal”, and “Nazi flag”, he dedicates to reveal(加ing) the tatty and shabby structures of Pantheon after the ablution by time and further divulge aundeniable fact that this culture relic has been heavily abused and mutilated.Ongoing, the author further strengthens his argument by describing a specific historical background-------British dilapidation and low-priced transaction soas to magnify the dehumanized damages of Pantheon by English, and further evokes the protection awareness of people. This background serves as a backbone to highlight the resolution of the author that he wishes the Pantheon will be reunited one day, and drawing readers into the issue addressed by the article.

Additionally, Hitchens exquisitely enhances his argument by employing rhetorical devices. In the third paragraph, the adoption of rhetorical question energetically accentuates the importance of keeping relicsal-together. Mona Lisa is a predominant artistic treasury and nobody wants her to be homeless, and this ingenious adoption accurately radiates the yearning of the author that precipitated in his heart------to make Pantheon and otherrelics complete. What’s more, he props his idea by utilizing the analogy  “the body of the goddess Iris is at presentin London, while her head is in Athens. The front part of the torso of Poseidonis in London, and the reap art is in Athens” in order to shows(去s) how bad it will be if Pantheon is still separated. And then the sentence “this is grotesque”eventually evokes a graceful wishes of citizens by appealing to pathos that(这是要引导什么从句?) author ponders it’s ridiculous that fragments of Pantheon are dotted all around the Europe(细节理解有误,只是分两半), and it(指代不明) should be back to her hometown. With the help of the rhetorical devices, Hitchens successfully buttresses his credibility and legitimacy of his argument, and galvanizes agog emotions of audiences.

In order to exemplifies(to后面需动词原型) his argument deeper and deeper(删去),Hitchens uses statistics that vividly places his argument into a focus------Greece is the best place to keep Parthenon. At the very inception of the fifth paragraph, Hitchens utilizes several numbers “20th century” “19th century” and “ 1450 square meters” to claim that a hundred and even more years ago, Greece wasn’t not only(用neither...nor) capable of preserving Parthenon due to itsenvironmental pollutions like acid rains, but also the narrow space of Acropolis museum. However, by negatively(删去) denying of(删去) its capability at first, the author virtually paves his idea below that after a century of struggling, Greece is strong enough to preserve Parthenon, and Hitchens employs “ 1992” and “10 times the space of the old repository” to strengthen his argument. By showing a series of numbers, Hitchens emphasizes his central argument strongly, effectively and intuitionally. At the end of this paragraph, Hitchens tightens the heartstrings of readers by appealing to emotion that today if Parthenon is able to back home successfully, and wishes of people will come true. By putting himself beside the readers as a propagandist, he equals them, and(删去) makes himself more likeable in the process.
数据的分析不是很到位,开头给出的更多是时间,历史证据的东西。数据并不是这篇文章的最大亮点。

After reading this passage, there seems to be no other choice than wishing(but to) Parthenon back to her cradle. Hitchens successfully develops his argument viscously by introducing the fact of its background,utilizing rhetorical devices and employing statistics.



分析不够深入,句式缺乏多样性。建议有空补充基础班的学习。
阅读:3分;分析:3分;写作:3分

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